Day 7-9
Monday, April 28th - Day 7
LAUNDRY DAY wooooooooo!
I felt a little tethered to the area near the laundry machines today. Had an omelette with goat cheese, peppers, onions. Also a little fun and flirty French Toast…mais oui!
There was a riddle in the kitchen. “Why can’t the bicycle stand up by itself?” I said…maybe it hasn’t completed two cycles of healing from trauma? No, it was two-tired…of course. This ate at my brain while I ate…because I’ve been unpacking my history of struggling to learn how to ride a bike. I went back to the kitchen to ask for the paper but it had already been thrown in the trash.
I went for a long post-breakfast walk while my laundry was in process. I did a little free writing on my walk. Mostly about the time a kid tried to blackmail me cause he correctly guessed that I couldn’t ride a bike.
I also made a playlist for “My Deepest Darkest Secret.” That time in the early 2000s lives so large in my mind. I think it’s when I really became an artist…that move from Pennsylvania to Tennessee shifted things for me. Wasn’t really othered until then.
Had a quick chat with Eric, the chef. He’s only been here since December! Crazy to think about the amount of art and magic he’s made since joining this place. The food also has me considering the platypus play again. I am living that level of excess every day here.
Came back to my cabin past 1pm. Quickly inhaled this out of this world lasagna meets enchilada thing. I wrote some new pages for do no harm.
I took a nap. I think the exhaustion of everything is catching up with me. Dinner was roasted portobello, creamed spinach, Doug’s awesome salad and dessert was this rich chocolate ganache + raspberry tart.
No presentation, but everyone kinda hung out. Had a nice long chat with Mariam. I went back to my studio and watched the beginning of Malick’s Badlands
Work from this day:
Tuesday, April 29 - Day 8
Officially have completed a week here. The time is flying by.
Woke up really early today. I finished Badlands, then wandered to breakfast. I over ordered at breakfast. Another riddle: “Why didn’t the scientist have a bell by their front door?” I wondered if the scientist was Pavlov. No…they wanted the Nobel Prize. I’m overthinking things.
Then I came to the library to work instead of going on a long walk. I wrote the first few pages of a screenplay version of “My Deepest Darkest Secret.”
I listened to some of John’s music and some of new arrival Michael’s as well. I went back to my studio. Texted with my sister about the project a little and crushed lunch while indulging in Work of Art a bit.
Then I decided to walk to town to get the golden eggs I wanted. I stopped in a stationary store where I found these cool ceramic rabbits. Also looked at greeting cards… it occurred to me that maybe this whole Mary Toft show is a performance in response to going through a miscarriage. Maybe I make my own greeting cards for the performance? What is my connection to that though? Is that a just shade of what’s happening in the show?
Nabbed my beloved golden eggs from Rite Aid. I also scraped the bottom of the barrel for whatever makeup would work best for whatever makeshift performance I do here. Not for this presentation, but maybe right before I go. The selection was bleak. I don’t know why I didn’t pack my makeup. Maybe I wanted to deny this impulse. Here we are.
I took another nap after this town journey. The staff commented that I wasn’t even glistening after climbing the hill. I didn’t want to tell them that my whole back was drenched.
Dinner was this crazy good chicken. I finally broke the seal and wore the silly hat, dinged the bell and led the “announcements” procedure. Dessert was a chili pineapple coconut rice pudding.
A performance art by Mairead and Marcus happened after dinner. We gathered behind the library and Mairead carried a huge collection of tall sticks from the woods. She laid them down. Then individually passed each of us a stick. After that it was a process of collecting each stick one by one…leaning on it, testing whether it could support, the stick breaking, the broken stick being laid at the periphery of this metal square, and she would recollect another stick from the crowd to do this process again. It felt a lot like sharing pain, sharing burden. Then claiming it again, trying to get comfortable with it until sheer force of gravity changes it. It seemed like nest-making too. There was a shocking quality to the breaking sound when it happened. Lots of anticipation.
Also a singing showcase from novelist Rebecca with John on the piano. Gorgeous voice!
Work from this day:
Wednesday, April 30th - Day 9
Woke up around 5 am. Decided to start watching Nickel Boys. Realized I needed a little more sleep. Konked out til 7:20. Took a shower. As I was heading to breakfast, I saw Olga with a suitcase heading to her car. I cried out “No!” which really startled her. Then I was like, “Don’t go… Where do you think you’re going?”
Breakfast was the sublime lemon ricotta pancake, bacon, scrambled eggs, this strawberry scone, potatoes, and coffee. The kitchen said I was always cheery in the morning. Maybe I am after a shower. I don’t know.
Lots of discussion about the performance piece from last night. I was seated next to Leona and had been curious about her experience as a blind spectator. Was it more music-forward, meditative for her? She told me her Meta glasses took photos of the performance which she fed into an AI program that described what was happening in descriptive terms like “woman in white poses with sticks in front of an audience.” The future is wild.
Mairead came to breakfast. We talked about Sinead O’Connor. She discussed this birthing surgery in Ireland where woman had their pelvic bone chainsawed during birth. The work takes on a different meaning after hearing her talk about it. Definitely going to miss her presence. And Olga too!
Saw a giant caterpillar before heading to the library to do some light video editing. I have my presentation tomorrow and still haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do. Wanted to find a lo-fi cover of “Karma Chameleon” for the first scene of do no harm. The first result was Adam LeBlanc’s band! Felt a little too perfect. So I downloaded that, manipulated it a bit, and attached it to the abstract wall art of this Manchester motel that lives in my head.
Had a quick lunch of chicken caesar salad…then I went on a nice long walk because it is gorgeous outside.
More brainstorming and writing at the library. I read Paptya’s short story “The History of Girls” (gorgeous and sad) before heading off to dinner which was grilled beets on kale, wild rice, roasted tomatoes with garlic, basil, and cashew. Dessert was this mint chocolate tart (aka a GIANT thin mint).
After dinner, Leona gave a presentation about oculur-centrism through a series of photographs described through the lens of different scents and filtered through the interpretation of Chat GPT. It’s a compelling topic…blind scholars studying photography and redefining how a photo can say a thousand words (also which words will AI say based on the biases it’s been trained with). Also maybe obvious now, but the fascination of photographers throughout history to document blind people is an interesting idea to unpack. Makes me wonder a bit what barriers AI models could provide to blind artists creating their own work of photography. The scented cloth and perfumed film of Leona’s presentation did a lot to redefine what a photo could be on experiential level…also find myself thinking a lot about how early cameras were so closely related to guns.
I went to the library to try use the projector. It took over an hour. Very frustrating. I went back to my studio through the biting cold. Little disappointed but not totally defeated. The prosecco helped me conquer the projector fury and pass out fairly quickly.
Work from this day: