Day 19- 22 (the end)
Saturday May 10th - Day 19
Woke up soooo late. But I rallied and made it to breakfast where Papatya was leading a not quiet table! Michael tells us a story about geese hissing at his friend after he drops a muffin into his yogurt. I wander to the library where I make some headway brainstorming structure for this presentation. I have a feeling a lot of this will come together tonight and tomorrow. I’m inspired to include some more traditional lipsync performances: Rumors by Lindsay Lohan, maybe a Crazy medley, probably Satan is Real by the Louvin brothers.
I’m getting flashes of lines like, “What exactly is me crime? Bein’ ahead of me time?” or just casual observations that random women “do make histry…just ain’t awways ritten down, ya know?” I think maybe her husband Joshua is going to try to convince her not to do this. Maybe he’s also concerned about her relationship with the moon who seems “awful full of ‘imself”
Got lunch and chatted with Alfred for a bit. Then I decided to walk to town to think a little, get my blood moving, and certainly not to get more beer to help my creative process. Had a few ideas on the walk about how maybe this is about finding the truth behind this story. Maybe Mary is an unreliable narrator who thinks her life is a film.
I got back to my studio and wrote about seven pages before dinner. Probably could’ve done more, but I thought a break would be beneficial. Dinner was haddock, green beans, salad, and rice. Went for a nice long walk with Jessamine and Diane and we talked about peckers and pricks. We did two laps and afterward, I went to the library, got to review Jo’s pictures of me. Golden offered to take photos of me if necessary. It wasn’t but what an appropriate name for such a gold-standard person. They’re the best.
Then I hit a wall. Got very sleepy.
On my way back to my studio I noticed that I was close to my movement goal for the day, so I just sort of aimlessly explored paths in the dark (something has died in the woods and it smells horrible). I got back to my cabin and thought maybe I’d dive in for more writing, but I quickly realized it was time for bed.
Work from this day:
Sunday, May 11th - Day 20
Had to fight to get out of bed. But I’m realizing that these free swanky breakfasts are running out very quickly. I got two pieces of bacon and an omelette and let’s be real…I’m simply feral for a piece of kiwi…yum…
I spent a little time considering how I’m nearing my end here. Nothing sells this more than the poor moth who got stuck in the fresh paint at the front of Bond.
I found a gorgeous golden earring on the ground on the path outside Baldwin. Dantiel came to claim her earring and we had a brief chat. She shared some uncertainty about sharing her work. My own feelings were so tangled up in the anticipation of doing this show tomorrow. Happy to get the gorgeous earring back to her though.
I got pretty far in my writing today, I reached the tenth scene…all about confronting my husband. The whole idea is about audience participation… I think making a random person into my husband is kinda iconic.
I went for a really long walk after lunch. The weather was so gorgeous and I was really overwhelmed by just how pretty it all was.
Dinner was salmon with roasted vegetables with maple glazed carrots. We also had a curried rice salad with homemade challah. Dessert was a vegan shortcake with rhubarb and strawberry. After dinner, I went to Leona’s studio for a quick drink with Karen. Her studio is surrounded by a moat! I’m a little shocked that the only visually impaired artist was placed in a studio with a gorge around it. Her studio is a cute little cottage…I look at her tombstones and see that Doug Wright was a former resident. I gush a little. We sit on Leona’s porch and briefly chat about what I plan to do tomorrow. Karen is a little bit of a Keegon superfan which I love.
We go to the library to do karaoke. I wandered in…quickly sang A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carleton. Then Carina and I did Shoop by Salt N Pepa. Tyson did Beyonce’s Love On Top (in the original key). There was some Bowie, some B 52’s. Kyuri is leaving in the morning. She hugs me and compliments my singing voice. I think a little about Rebecca’s library revue. I wonder a little about what happens to creative people when they ignore one facet of their creativity…why don’t I sing more? My main lingering memory of Rebecca is saying she should write about singing.
I edited the audio track a little more after all the karaoke. Erik walked by me and called me a trooper. I just want it to be as good as it can be. I hadn’t manipulated the audio to the same levels and so it was not as cohesive as it could’ve been.
Monday, May 12th - Day 21
My last full day here…wow. I absolutely could not sleep last night after a nice long chat with Maureen about songs for her upcoming pie number. Had to drag myself to shower. My breakfast was mostly potatoes as well as French toast (made with that challah bread AAHH), an omelet, and a single piece of bacon.
I took a break to call my mom and my friends. I was visited by a monarch butterfly that only makes me think of my paternal grandmother. Her favorite creature was butterflies so it felt like my Grammy (aka Dammy) visited me at MacDowell.
I went back to my studio for a rushed lunch and an episode of Work of Art.
I walked my basket back to Bond, then took a quick shower before locking in at Mansfield to start getting into drag. I listened to my pre-recorded script over and over while trying my hand at Wet & Wild products. I had a few moments where I cursed the fact that I didn’t bring my theatrical grade makeup to MacDowell. In my defense, I guess I thought I wouldn’t do a drag-related performance.
As is tradition, I think I overdid it makeup-wise. There were a few moments where I looked kind of natural and I kept layering glittery shit atop that. Eventually, I looked shellacked. My eyes looked simply drawn before, but then it became like bad gold leaf. I made a quick video on the toilet after I nearly finished my face. I wasn’t super proud of the finished face, but hey…this piece is a goofy one-woman lip-synced show about pretending to give birth to rabbits.
I put my black dress and bonnet on…then rehearsed a little with my puppets. Put my industrial-strength flashlight on the fireplace mantle and recorded a bit of it. I got startled because some maintenance people showed up unannounced. In a lot of my rehearsal, I could see myself looking to the window where I heard voices.
I hate to say this, but doing drag always feels a little dangerous. Doing somewhere for the first time always feels a little like you’re risking safety. Even bad drag, like mine, is a risky endeavor. People kept chatting outside as I rehearsed, but I kept rehearsing. I did consider if I should go to ask what was happening, but I realized that I was a little vulnerable and didn’t know who was outside.
I packed my MacDowell tote with my Mary Toft flats, my golden egg breasts, my bonnet, my witch fingers, my puppets, and my dress. The wind tried its best to blow off my flirty little eyelashes, but it didn’t happen. But know this…wind…you will not be favorably written about like the moon…
There were a few new people at dinner who were there as I wandered in with my full face of bad drag makeup. I was a little sassy…thank you, Wet & Wild.
Then I went to dinner where they loudly proclaimed we’ll feed you healthy food tomorrow. (What about me lol?!). I had to laugh because the food was wings. There are many foods I’d veto before a drag performance…wings would be high on the list. Some of the kitchen workers asked if this was a normal Monday or a special occasion.
Chiye brought this incredible crescent moon cut-out. She also had a substantial chunk of tree, and she wondered if the moon should be obscured behind a bit of tree. I said sure! I got changed into my dress and my shoes and also set up the projector for the PowerPoint. Diane asked me if I was ready for the farewell part of dinner… I wandered in and briefly spoke about how the other artists are the most important part of being at MacDowell. (Also pitched that my brief show would be fun). I even skipped dessert for the first time cause I was so distracted by my art.
I started my show and Karen filmed the whole thing. I laughed a little at the end as I said, “Any questions?” Carina thought I had come up with everything on my own and I said “Oh, no!” I pluck off the witch fingers and talk a little about what’s next for Mary. Then I sit down and listen to Dantiel’s beautiful writing. Slightly inspired by the notes in our studios that tell us to not flush dead reptiles. (Must be a real story there)
Work from my last day:
Tuesday May 13th - Day 22 (if you can call it that)
Paul / Babette / the longest Lyft ride of my life
The morning was full of frantic cleaning. I finally discovered where the recycling was, so I dropped off my beer cans there. Got my last free breakfast. Drank so much coffee as is tradition.
My driver, Paul, mentioned that he can only fall asleep with a little bit of his daughter’s blanket. It has the PowerPuff Girls on it.
This guy in the airport bar said, “I’ll have another since that guy who’s going to Chicago got one more.” I asked how he knew I was going to Chicago. He said it was cause I ordered another beer, but also it’s a small airport. Fair enough. He finished his beer before me. He’s from the southside so…I get it. I rush to boarding and wonder briefly if I accidently tipped forty dollars instead of fourteen. If I did, that’s fine. Can’t contest it. Just call it good karma. All money returns anyway.
I sat on the plane after guzzling down two beers. A woman wanders on with the biggest camera I’ve ever seen. I ask if she’s a photographer. She works for a human rights organization and was just coming from a Bernie Sanders rally. She was really cool and interesting. She called her daughter before the plane took off to say she loved her. I found this very disarming and beautiful. It’s the kind of relationship I wish I had with my family.
We get in the air and she shows me photos of her with Joe Biden. Many, many photos with him. She even had a photo of herself with Obama in 2007. She’s been a Biden girl since the beginning…she has photos of him with her kids. The flight has incredible turbulence. They never turn off the fasten your seatbelt sign.
We finally land and after a brief wait for my bag, I get a LYFT home. My apartment smells different. I throw the suitcase in my kitchen, where it sits unpacked for about a month. I take a shower…order a pizza…drink a handful of beers…and sleep in my bed.
I’m not convinced there isn’t a tick on me somewhere. I fear that I’ll find one months after leaving paradise.